Fires Wash Away Fears
by GigiHudson
Summary: Rose has lost the trial and is counting down the days until she is executed...on the pyre. Even Lissa cannot save her this time. Oneshot-MultiChaptered. Very sad, but sweet. Rated T because I'm paranoid. Summery does suck, please read and review Thanks!
1. Chapter 1

**Fires Wash Away Fears **

Prologue

It's late. Not for Moroi who love the night, the darkness that can sometimes swallow you whole, the stars that seem so cold and distant like royalty unbound, and the whisper of the wind as it dances in the deepest shadows. No, this was night for the humans and day for the Moroi.

In the darkest part of the royal court, where no Moroi ever visited and guardians only did when forced to work there, was a small concrete block. It wasn't very big, and not very small either but it was where Rose Hathaway had spent the last 41 days. It was also where she would spend her last.

I lay on the tiny little bed that was built into my wall. What they thought I could do with a bed was anyone's guess but apparently as the famous murderess of the queen, I was dangerous. Even with a lumpy mattress and bloodstained sheets. I sighed and looked around again at the miniscule jail cell that I had been occupying and sighed again.

The grey walls were getting real boring now, and not for the first time I wished that my "lawyer" would hurry the fuck up and get me out of here. I hadn't heard from him since we had been to the trail that wasn't a trial and they had agreed that there was a chance I could be guilty. It was all so confusing. I didn't really understand, even now, why they couldn't just try me and either find me guilty or not guilty.

This time I kicked the wall opposite. The room really was small enough that I didn't have to stretch much to do so.

"Arrrrrrgghhhh," I moaned, "could one of you at least tell me what's going on in the outside world?" No reply. The 12 guardians stationed outside my cell kept a firm grip on their stoic masks. This, of course, only made me angrier.

I jumped off the bed and ran up to the bars where I could see them better. I hoped that there would be someone there who I knew, or who had witnessed me saving Lissa before, but I didn't recognise even 1 of the faces there.

"Damn!" I muttered. I kept kicking the bars, hoping that even if they didn't tell me anything they would at least lose the guardian masks that only fuelled my fear.

Because no matter what I let the outside world see, and that wasn't much seeing as I had told the guardians I wanted no visitors, I was afraid. And that fear grew and grew everyday until suddenly it wasn't fear anymore. It was the almost eerie sixth sense that the terminally ill seem to have: the certainty that no matter what, I would never leave this jail cell. I was going to die in here. Well, maybe not in _here _but I knew I was never going to leave this cell, except to go to my execution.


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn't scared when they brought in the dress.

It was long, covering my ankles and trailing on the floor, and was a pure, simple white. It looked almost like a wedding dress but it wasn't. It was an execution gown.

When they first brought it in I had taken it and wondered why I was getting a dress. I mean it wasn't exactly like they wanted me to look fashionable. But then I realised it was to wear to my execution. And I knew it was for my execution because 3 days previous I had received a visit from some dhamphir in a black suit. I had seen him only once before. He worked for Abe.

The guy had just strolled in, given me an envelope with the words "Rose. Only" on it, and a short letter inside, which read:

"Rose,

We lost the trial. Your execution is set for September 12th."

How comforting. Not.

And that was the last contact I had with the outside world, or any other human being until the guardians came in with my dress. Yes _guardians._ Because it really takes 4 guardians to bring me a dress.

"Stupid fucking…" I can't think of anything to call them. I'm not who I used to be, not anymore. I lost my….Roseness….when I came in here. After a few days I forgot how to laugh too.

So now I'm just staring down at the dress they gave me as I sit on the bed and wait. Because I know that in a few hours a group of guardians will come and get me, take me to my execution, and then it will all be over. Just like that.

I'm allowed a hairbrush and a small bag of makeup was smuggled in by one of the dhamphirs who guard me. I know her, she's called Tamara. I met her when me and…him….went to Arthur Schoenburg for my exam. She was one of the response team who came to clear up the Badica's house and look for evidence about the attack.

I remember being stunned at her composure at finding her mentor dead. She hadn't broken down as I would have; she had merely acknowledged that it was a tragedy. I had liked her. I still did really; she was one of the only guardians who spoke to me.

I mean we didn't exactly gossip and braid each others hair, but she would occasionally tell me what was going on outside, and would ask if I was alright.

I don't think my guardians believe I really did kill Tatiana, I just think that they take their jobs seriously, and that whatever they think of me doesn't come into it.

I shook away my thoughts, I seemed to spend so much time in my head, I wondered if one day I wouldn't come back. Maybe it was a good thing that I was about to be put out of my misery, because anything was better than this. This was more than torture, it was a slow death. Just like loving him. This time I smacked the wall, I hated thinking of him! I hated him! "Agh! How can you _do_ this? What happened to our 'love'? You bastard!" I had to let out the rage that thinking of him always brought up. I could never think of him without wanting to break down and cry, or want to murder someone. Pun intended.

I grabbed the stack of books by my bed and threw them at the wall, stamping and kicking them as they hit the ground. Pages fluttered around me as I was held down by the guardians, restrained from showing just how broken I had become.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I had spent a few hours sleeping, and a few more trying to sort myself out.

I wasn't sure whether I was going to another 'trial' or if this was my execution, but I was leaning more towards the latter because the guardians looked slightly less…stoic than normal. Or maybe that was just my imagination procrastinating too much.

I shook away my inner musings, and looked into the mirror. The girl that stared back at me wasn't Rose Hathaway; it was more like a pale imitation. A ghost. A shade. I had slapped on concealer and foundation but they didn't cover the dark hollows under my eyes, or the sad, broken look in them. It was pretty obvious that I wasn't the strong, Strigoi killer that I used to be. I felt sobs rack my thin body as I cried my eyes out. At what I had become, and at what I had lost. I had lost my freedom, my love, my friends, my family and soon, my life. It wasn't exactly inspiring. But then again, I always knew that this job wasn't exactly easy. It was something that all dhamphirs, or nearly all, had to do. This was our 'contribution to the world.' I was starting to question that though. What made us less important than the Moroi? We were still people, with lives, feelings and families. Why should we die for a race that was getting killed off quicker than we were anyway?

None of this made any sense anymore.

10 minutes later, I was reapplying my makeup and brushing my long, dark hair. I wasn't sure why they wanted to pretty me up, but I was thinking that it could be because they didn't want people to think that I had been being treated badly. I had to stifle a laugh at that, Moroi politics had always confused and amused me at the same time. Of course, it made me want to scream sometimes, like at the fucked up law that prevented Lissa from having her rightful place on the council. But hey, that was the Moroi for you. Talk first, act later. Sometimes that worked, but 9 times out of 10, it just lead to a great and severe loss of lives, both Moroi and dhamphir alike.

Why was I thinking about this? Whatever I thought about Moroi law didn't matter; I was just one unruly dhamphir. Not only that, but I was pretty sure I was about to be executed, and my final moments were really not going how I thought they should have. But then again, maybe this is my punishment from God or something. Doomed to think about 'issues' for all of eternity. Oh yay.

"Rose? Are you ready yet? We have to leave in 5 minitues." Tamara was calling to me from outside my cell, surrounded by my very formal looking guardians. Oh shit. I hadn't thought I was going to be taken out that quickly. I had hoped to have some

time to say goodbye to Lissa…Lissa! Oh no. Lissa would be there, I just knew it.

In Moroi law, all executions HAD to be public. It was just another one of there weird laws. But this meant that Lissa would be there, and that was more than I could stand.

I couldn't let her watch me be executed, it wasn't fair. I had spent my whole life trying to protect her, and this was not protection.

But what could I do about it?

Nothing.

"Rose?"

I looked up in surprise, the voice was a lot closer to me than I had expected. Tamara was standing in front of me with a conflicted look on her face. I didn't really have the energy to work out what she was conflicted about. My death? I wasn't sure.

"Look, I'm not really meant to do this but….here." She thrust a piece of paper at me and a pen. I took it, but didn't understand what she was doing.

"Its for you to write a note to Lissa. A….goodbye." Oh. Well that explained it.

I suddenly realised that maybe this note could help me….


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR NOTE:** **Ok, I know I suck as a writer. I haven't updated in a few months. And that's baaad. But I have an excuse! It was because I have been insanely swamped with homework, homework and more homework. Which I haven't done yet. I go back on Tuesday, so I really should be doing homework but instead I am updating ALL of my in-progress stories on here. And posting one or two new ones. It will take me around 5 hours to update everything and to get into the mindset of each one, but I'm trying. I really am. So read, enjoy, and don't hate me. **

**Fires Wash Away Fears – Chapter 4 **

I waited until Tamara turned away to write the note. A few minutes later it read:

'Dear Lissa. I have a plan. You need to go to Christians and meet everyone there. Get everyone to come. Mia, Christian, Adrian, Eddie and Dimitri.

Wait there until you are visited by a member of my guard. They will be in on this.

I am to be hanged, and he will take you to my body. Where you Lissa, can bring me back! I know its not the best plan, but I'm sure it will work. I need you all to stay at Christian's no matter what happens, because otherwise, you might miss the guardian. And then the plan will fail. Well duh.

Rose. '

I felt like crying when I finished, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to be strong. Even now I was protecting Lissa. Because the note had been a lie, I wasn't going to be hanged; I was going to be burnt alive. And of course I couldn't be brought back from that. So it was important that Lissa wasn't there. This way I knew that none of my friends would have to witness my execution.

I handed the note to Tamara, who looked at me sadly.  
'I'm so sorry Rose, but I have to read this before I give it to her. I'm so, so sorry.' I could see the tears in her eyes, and I knew that she was trying hard not to let them show. I also knew that she hated this, and she didn't believe I'd killed Tatiana.

'It's fine. Really.' I tried to make my voice soothing, because even though it was me who was going to die, I was ok with it. Well no, I wasn't, but I had come to peace with it a little. I was still mad as hell, but I wasn't just sitting around, locked up anymore. Anything was better than my cell.

She opened up the note and read it quickly. I saw the confusion dart across her face.  
'Rose, your not being hung?' She was trying to say it gently.

'I know,' I replied. She continued to look confused for a few seconds more, until suddenly she realised.  
'Rose-'  
'Don't. I know what I'm doing. I know I'm going to die. You know I'm going to die. We all know. But does Lissa need to see it? No. It will destroy her, and god knows I've spent the last 15 years trying to keep her safe. From anything. Whether it was school bullies, broken hearts or Strigoi, I've kept her safe. This is exactly the same. I won't let her watch her best friend die!'

I sat down on the bed, my face in my hands. It took me a few seconds to calm my whirling emotions before I removed my hand and looked up at her.  
'I know Tamara. Just please give her the note.'

I sounded broken to my own ears, so I could only imagine how bad I sounded to hers.  
She left with a nod and walked calmly but quickly down the corridor and out of my sight. I hoped that she would give the letter to Lissa. I couldn't bear for her to have to watch my execution. I knew how much it pained her when I got a cut, or a splinter, let alone anything like this. I also didn't want her there because I was going to do my best to remain composed as I died. No tears. No tantrums. Exactly what no one would expect. They will be expecting me to make a scene, try to escape, shout and scream. Not to die silently. I wouldn't be able to hold onto my composure if Lissa was there though. There was no way I could calmly embrace death if she was there sobbing and screaming my name.

So I walked over to the mirror and continued to brush my hair, waiting out the last few minutes of my life hoping against hope that Lissa got my note.


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR NOTE: ****I've really enjoyed writing this, but this is the last chapter. Mostly because this was planned as a 'quick' one-shot that turned into a multi chaptered one-shot, but also because there is no where left for this story. It all centred around this. Sorry for those of you expecting a happily ever after. I hope you like it. **

**I suggest listening to Make Me Wanna Die – The Pretty Reckless as you read it. You don't have to, but I did. **

I didn't have to wait long before they came to get me. The guardians that is, I wasn't having hallucinations of crazy people coming to kill me. Much. No I'm kidding. But the guardians were scary enough all on their own. They walked inside my cell and stared at me with emotionless faces. I thought that I could detect a slight flicker of sorrow in some of their eyes, but I have a feeling it wouldn't help me either way.  
Not that I minded. I knew I was going to die today, no matter what happened. My only hope was that Lissa wouldn't be there to watch.

I walked out of the cell for the first time in months. If felt good, even if I was flanked by 12 guardians. They weren't holding onto me, which I was surprised at, but then again I suppose most of them knew I wasn't going to try and escape, and that even if I did try, I wouldn't get very far. Not with 12 guardians around me, all heavily armed and with the instruction to kill me if I tried to escape.

My execution was taking place in the middle of the courtyard, the central one. That meant that every single person at court would be there to watch me die. I knew I wasn't popular among the Moroi, but I didn't think _everyone_ would show up. It turned out I was wrong.

There had to be at least a few thousand people crowded around the huge pyre in the centre. Of course, they were all standing behind the barrier that had been set up. There was a path way that had been cleared too, that was obviously where we were going to make out grand entrance from.

I took a deep breath as we walked onto it, and up towards the pyre. I felt like I was about to throw up but I knew how I wanted to go and it was with dignity. So I didn't shed a tear, or lose my mask of calm. Being a guardian in training I had learnt how to keep all my emotions off my face and I used that now.

I still felt scared but I calmed a little as I looked out at the crowd and couldn't spot Lissa, or any of my friends here. I checked the bond as well, and felt that she was at Christians with everyone else. Good. She got my note then. I wished I could thank Tamara, but that wouldn't do any her favours. I continued my slow walk, revelling in the cool night air. My execution was being held in the middle of the Moroi day, which was night for the humans. I became aware of every single creature floating in the breeze, every tree standing whispering in the darkness, every twig that crunched under my feet as I stepped on it. I had never been more aware of life and everything in it in those last few moments before I reached the pyre. I was about to walk up the steps when I heard a scream from behind me.  
'Nooooo! No! Someone- help! No! No! ROSE!' I closed my eyes for a second, trying to reclaim my emotionless mask. Lissa was here.

I didn't know how she had found out, but when I opened my eyes, her, Christian, Eddie and Mia were all running through the crowd towards me. As they got closer I saw that Adrian was with them. I was surprised at that for a moment, but then I shook it off and continued to climb the steps to my death. I reached the top and looked down at everyone. Most of the people there were Moroi, although there were some dhampirs. I stood silently, completely still as I watched Lissa run faster and faster, along with everyone else, and I saw Mia getting ready to try and put out any fire that she saw.

It touched me that my friends were still trying to fight for me even though all hope had been lost. I guess they must have got that off me. It did make me a little proud to think that. Then I noticed a very angry looking Moroi talking to a few guardians. I could pretty much guess what he was saying: something along the lines of 'don't let them interfere.' I was worried that they were going to cause trouble for themselves, but I knew that nothing anyone said would stop them. I looked around the crowd again, more to distract myself than anything else and it was then that I realised Dimitri was there. I almost lost my expressionless mask for a moment then, but managed (with difficulty) to hold onto it. He was standing away from the others, and was just standing there transfixed. My attention was drawn away from him though, when the angry man gestured to an incredibly nervous looking man. As they walked closer to me, I could hear what they were saying.

'I-I-I-I'm sorry. I don't-dont-think I can. Sorry.' The nervous looking man began to look scared more than nervous and sweat marks were appearing under his arms.  
'What do you mean you don't think you can? Just light the fire! It's your job!'  
'I-I know, but when I signed up, no one mentioned anything about murdering teenage girls.'  
'I don't care! This is an execution! And she-' He pointed towards me, 'murdered the queen!'  
The other man was looking very nervous now, and was starting to slowly back away, into the crowd.  
'I'm sorry but I just cant!' And with that he turned and ran, and was swallowed up by the crowd in seconds. I suddenly heard a bang and whipped my head round to see what it was. Everybody looked over as well, and I suddenly saw what it was. Eddie had kicked down the barriers and Lissa was running towards me, with Christian next to her. Until they were grabbed by the same guardians who had escorted me over her.

But as soon as one of them grabbed hold of Lissa, Dimitri was there, throwing the man off her and attempting to fight the remaining guards. Adrian was there as well, using compulsion on the angry Moroi to stop him from doing anything. They were all fighting for me so much, that none of them saw the woman dressed all in black who walked straight past everyone and said in a loud voice used to getting attention, 'lets end this now! She killed the queen, and this is her punishment!'

And with that, the pyre ignited.

It exploded outwards, causing everyone to be thrown back a few steps. The fire hadn't yet reached me, but it was moving fast. I could just about see through the smoke, but what I saw wasn't comforting. Tasha had been the one who had lit the pyre. She was currently fighting with the few guardians I knew were on my side: Mikhail and Tamara. I couldn't see anything else though, until I suddenly heard a voice shout 'No! Rose I love you!'

I knew that voice.

It was Dimitri.

I frantically looked around for him, trying to tell him to get back before it exploded, as he was so much closer than everyone else, but then I saw him, being dragged back by several guardians and my friends. I felt a single tear escape before it exploded. And then there was nothing.


	6. Epilouge

**AUTHOR NOTE**: **Ok, so I said I wasn't going to add anything onto this. That is still true in a way, because in this epilogue I am merely tying up loose ends and giving you a sense of finality. Because I am not changing this story, or providing a miraculous ending, or continuing it on. It was only ever meant as a one shot and that's all it is. So do not expect any other chapters, or anything else. THIS IS IT. That being said, I value all of my readers and especially reviewers, very highly. And I can say that if the roles were reversed, then I would be PISSED. But that's why I am writing this short epilogue to give you all the answers that the final chapter just couldn't. I hope you enjoy this, and check out some of my other story's. I have a few one shots coming up soon, and a few full length ones already up. They have happy endings, unlike this one. I also had to write this like this because I get the plans for my Fanfic, and I cannot alter them or they become useless, senseless words with no power or emotion to them. A true writer always knows when to put the pen down. **

**DPOV**

I ran as fast as I could towards her, tears streaming down my face as I reached out to her. I couldn't breathe due to the thick black smoke that was everywhere, drowning me like a thousand oceans. But I struggled through it, to get to her. Because she was Rose. She was everything. And I _couldn't lose her. _I managed to get to the base of the pyre, scalding my hands as I attempted to scramble up the flame covered wood, before I felt hands pulling me back. Not just one set, but many. And all of them were dragging me away. I caught a glimpse of her, the pain in her eyes and the look of such sadness and loss on her face froze me. I saw her lips mouth the word goodbye, and then she was gone, and I was out of the reach of both the flames and the smoke. I was being held down by the guardians that had tried to save me. And Rose's friends too. It didn't matter who was holding me though, all that mattered was that they were stopping me from saving her. I fought them as hard as I could, but for every person that I shoved off me, there was another there to hold me down, to block me from getting to Rose. I screamed her name, shouting as though the world depended on it, and in a way it did. She was my whole world. Whether she knew it or not, everything revolved around her. I couldn't lose her. Not now, not ever. But then I saw that she was already lost to me and I broke.

I collapsed to the floor, crying like a broken man, chanting, pleading and shouting for all I was worth. All to no avail. Eventually everything faded and I felt my senses become more and more distant until the only thing I could feel was the hollow, empty pain inside my chest.

I awoke to more darkness. I guessed I was in the infirmary, but I wasn't sure having never visited it before. For a moment I was unsure as to why I was here, and then I remembered. And with that knowledge came the earth shattering pain of the realisation that I had lost Rose forever. I now understood what she had said to me when I had been a Strigoi. At the time it had puzzled me, but now I understood it better than I could've ever understood it when she was alive.  
'Dimitri...' she had said 'you may be Strigoi, but at least I have not lost you. Not yet.' I had looked at her questioningly, not really caring much for the answer, but I had been curious.  
'This death...it is not final. I have not yet lost you forever. There might still be a way to save you.'  
I (at the time) had not understood. But now I did. She was gone from me forever now. I would give anything to have her back, no matter the cost. Even if it was as a Strigoi, or a ghost, I would give anything. But there was nothing I could do. Not even Lissa could bring her back now. And with that, I began to sob again, crying myself to sleep.

A memorial service was held a few days later, and I knew that I had to be there. I hadn't ventured outside since Rose's death, but I couldn't miss this. I walked to the small church and saw Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia and Adrian all outside, waiting for me. Lissa didn't say anything before running up to hug me, sorrow written all over her face. She was crying too, and her eyes had that puffy red look too them which meant she had been crying for a while. I suspected she hadn't stopped crying since Rose died. I didn't think I had either. Looking at the faces around me I could tell that all of them were just as broken as we were. Each one of us had loved Rose in our own way, and none of us would be able to accept she was gone. Adrian seemed to be handling her death the same way he handled everything, which alcohol and cigarettes. He seemed to be absolutely wasted today though, to the point that he couldn't stand up, and was sitting on the floor, leaned against a wall with a cloud of cigarette smoke around him. At a motion from Lissa, we all went inside and took our seats.

The ceremony wasn't long, the usual, traditional funeral speech and then we were headed to the front, to pay our respects over her coffin. It surprised me that it was open, but then I realised why: she had died from smoke inhalation; the fire had never even reached her before it was put out. So instead of looking down at a sealed coffin, I found myself looking down at Rose, eyes shut and a small smile on her lips. I couldn't breathe. She didn't look like she was dead. I mean, of course she was paler than usual, but I could almost fool myself into believing she was alive. It made it that much harder to say goodbye. I let the tears fall from my eyes as I whispered apologies at her. Finally, I wiped my eyes and stepped aside, allowing the casket to be closed.

I waited until she was buried, and everyone had left before I walked up to the grave and laid a bouquet of red roses. I knew that she would love the romance and hate the irony. It was a bittersweet feeling. I sat there for hours, telling her how I felt, how much I loved her, until the sun finally started to rise, at which point I lifted myself up, said my final goodbyes and returned to my room. I knew I would never go back. I couldn't. I could imagine Rose understanding that.

**Well it's over. The very last chapter of my fic. That may have been VERY hard for you to read, but trust me: it was harder to write. Mostly because I had to completely get into the mindset of the characters involved, which is incredibly depressing, and also because I wanted to make you all understand that this is final. It's over. So thank you for staying with it, and I hope you review with your final thoughts. **

**QUICK NOTE: I want to beg you to read this. It's my favourite story so far, and I'm updating it twice a day so far. It's a Morganville fic, but even if you haven't read the series you might enjoy it. You might miss some of the inside jokes, but I'm sure you could still read it. Also, please review both this and that. I only have 5 reviews on that and I would really like some more. And don't forget to review this too; I always value other peoples take and opinions on my stories. **

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